Monday, May 25, 2009
STUPID, STUPID WIZARDS: THE INTRODUCTION
(This is a simple statement of fact. Wizards probably find it hilarious because there's a cat in it.)
STUPID, STUPID WIZARDS: THE INTRODUCTION: Like many of you, I started reading the Harry Potter books in middle school, maybe ninth grade. They’re fun books, with fun plots and characters. Not world-changing literature, but good stuff for reading. The one aspect with which I experienced a growing discomfort as I grew older was… Well, the wizards are… Well, frankly, they’re morons. Their sports make no sense, their government is incompetent, and the newspaper has to specifically tell them what a gun is. More than 700 years, guns have been around, and the best they can come up with is “A type of metal wand muggles use to kill each other.” And they’re all so damn smug and superior. Well, I’m standing up for muggles, The dumbest muggle has a level of common sense that would make the average wizard’s head explode. Even their mightiest mind, Dumbledore, and their biggest threat, Voldemort, are complete strategic idiots. And here’s where we’ll point out why. Join me, on a magical adventure... Wait, scratch that. On a logical adventure of rationality and sensibility! Plus it's on the internet! If you were a wizard, you'd have to wait for a damn bird to tell you.